WELLNESS CONNECTION · Life Balance

Communication: The Power Thank You

By Claudia Dunn, M.A., OTR/L, Director of Life Balance

April 15, 2011 - 5:00PM

Have you ever been in a position where you feel underappreciated? In a fast-paced world where courtesy is increasingly regarded as more antiquated than essential, you are not alone. To receive the gratitude we all want, make it a point to spend time with people who reciprocate naturally, continue to show your appreciation to the people in your life who do give back and never underestimate the power of a good �thank you.�

Here is a quick recipe for what psychiatrist and human behavior specialist, Mark Gouldon, calls the Power Thank You:

1. Be specific about what that person did for you, or refrained from doing, that might have been beneficial.
�I really appreciate how you took the initiative to meet with that client on your lunch hour� not everyone would have been so proactive.�

2. Acknowledge the investment of energy and effort that it took for them to do the kindness.
�I realize it was not easy for you to�� or �It took a great deal of time and planning to��

3. Tell them exactly how their actions had a positive effect on you.
�You not only saved me a lot of time but you made the whole team look great! Now we will meet our quota due in no small part to you going the extra mile.�

Done sincerely, a �Power Thank You� will generate feelings of respect and gratitude in the other person and you will reap the reward of strengthening a relationship. Recognition is also a great motivator and strong incentive to continue the helping behavior in the future.

Bear in mind that if the act of kindness was extraordinary, returning the appropriate amount of thankfulness creates what is called a �mirror neuron receptor� effect. This means the greater the sacrifice of the deed, the greater the show of appreciation needed to match it. Matching an exceptional favor with like acknowledgement communicates that the giver is �mirrored� in his or her kindness.

On that note, thank you for your time and energy in reading this article. I know that life is busy, your time is valuable and you could have been doing a variety of other things with these past few minutes. Instead, you chose to invest in some self-reflection that is likely to benefit both you and everyone around you. Thank you!

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